A pie to the face: The conclusion to a riveting scandal

Elizabeth Becker ('19) finally exposes - for her last time - the true drama and deceit that allowed the infamous pie-eating scandal to occur.

As+demonstrated+by+this+devastatingly+Papyrus-decorated+graphic%2C+the+truth+reaches+far+back+into+the+pasts+of+two+of+Nardin%27s+sketchiest+teachers.
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A pie to the face: The conclusion to a riveting scandal

As demonstrated by this devastatingly Papyrus-decorated graphic, the truth reaches far back into the pasts of two of Nardin's sketchiest teachers.

As demonstrated by this devastatingly Papyrus-decorated graphic, the truth reaches far back into the pasts of two of Nardin's sketchiest teachers.

edited by Elizabeth Becker

As demonstrated by this devastatingly Papyrus-decorated graphic, the truth reaches far back into the pasts of two of Nardin's sketchiest teachers.

edited by Elizabeth Becker

edited by Elizabeth Becker

As demonstrated by this devastatingly Papyrus-decorated graphic, the truth reaches far back into the pasts of two of Nardin's sketchiest teachers.

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If William Jones had known what a controversy it would create, I guarantee he never would have dared to invent Pi.

Hello to all Kaleidoscope fans and Nardin students who have stayed with me on this vicious scandal. Today I share with you the final installment of this series, and by the end of this article, you will have all the facts, and the truth will finally be evident.

 

As merely the journalist investigating this scandal, I only want to share the facts, not persuade you one way or another.

 

However, I do promise you this: by the end of this article the guilty party will be revealed.

 

In my previous article, I reference the fact that in the video, three judges were seen in the background ruling on the contest.

 

Now, each of these judges were unable to collectively rule that Ladowski, a man who eats 3200 calories a day except in the spring when he eats 2500, was the true winner.

 

When asked to comment on this, Michelle Kazmierczak, history whiz, noted, “It’s his [Ladowski’s] fault. Make a scene—you’re a winner.”

 

Is this true? No one can deny that Ladowski’s head popped up first; however, his minimal reaction to his own triumph did lead to a lack of response from the crowd.

 

Moving on, another aspect to consider is math genius, Ms. Spaulding’s response to Swanson finishing her pie.

 

As seen in the video, Ms. Spaulding was energetically watching Swanson while ignoring the rest of the contestants.

 

When asked to comment on this, Spaulding noted, “I was not really sure who I was supposed to judge. Ms. Swanson was really into it, so I got focused on her. I don’t think Ladowski even had a judge watching him.”

 

Furthermore, Kaz also mentioned, “I could not see from the end of the table I was at,” which brings on the question, who blocks her view?

 

In the video you can clearly see the teacher in between Ladowski, the actual winner, and Swanson, the crowned winner: Brian McCarthy. McCarthy, a man who never stood a chance because he was not willing to shave his beard, blocked the judges’ view of Ladowski.

Nobody was clear on the rules.”

— Brian McCarthy

 

When asked to comment on this, he stated, “Maybe the judges should not have been standing where they couldn’t see everyone.”

 

Kind of a defensive answer, don’t you think?

 

Is it McCarthy’s fault that Ladowski was not recognized for his pie-eating talent?

 

Let me remind you that McCarthy and Swanson have been friends since before their time at Nardin.

 

I ask you this: is the duo’s friendship so strong that McCarthy would cheat for her? If yes, how long ago was this plot formed? Was it at Niagara Catholic? Is this why they came to teach at Nardin in the first place? Readers, I present you with these questions only to make you think. Was this their plan the whole time? Not to come teach at Nardin, but to sabotage Mr. Ladowski’s chance to win the pie-eating contest? I guess we will never truly know.

I’ve known Ms. Swanson since she was knee-high to a grasshopper.”

— Brian McCarthy

 

But, maybe we will.

 

In a secret one-on-one interview, Brian McCarthy, former Kaleidoscope anonymous source, admitted, “In my second year teaching with Ms. Swanson, I remember having conversations with her about this up-and-coming pie eater at Mount Mercy.”

 

Dare I say it? Is this “up-and-coming pie eater” Alexander Ladowski, former Mount Mercy teacher and talented pie consumer?

 

I submit to you the following unofficial timeline of events that may or may not have occured over the past few years.

 

A detailed graphic presented in Room 108 reveals the long anticipated truth.

 

As shown above, Ladowski starts working at Mount Mercy in 2011, while Swanson and McCarthy both start working at Niagara Catholic in 2013.

 

Just one year later, McCarthy attests to a secret invite-only teacher All-Catholic pie-eating contest in 2014 where Swanson and Ladowski first met—and where their rivalry began.

 

McCarthy dedicated his free time to helping Swanson, a novice pie eater, prepare for this ultimate competition, but unfortunately Ladowski prevailed, leaving Swanson both angry and desperate for vindication.

 

Reenacted by Nardin seniors, Mr. McCarthy (Grace Van Vessem) yells inspiring words at his pie-eating representative, Ms. Swanson (Madeline Smith).

However, Mr. Ladowski (Melanie Sperrazza) proves to be as victorious as George Washington, his celebrity lookalike.

McCarthy long resented Swanson, his fellow Niagara Catholic educator (R.I.P.), following the humiliating incident.

When asked to comment on his 2014 win, Ladowski noted, “I worked harder than her [Swanson] leading up to it. I ate two pies a day. How could she expect to top that?”

 

He also gave us more insight into his own path to becoming a pie-eating champion. He explained, “There was a period in my life where I did a lot of eating of pie. Two pies a week on the same day. Every Wednesday at 7 P.M.”

 

After finding out this shocking news, I asked Mr. McCarthy, former pie-eating trainer, to comment on this secret event.

 

At first he could not even talk about the loss in 2014, as the pain is still too strong, but when pressed, he noted, “Obviously you take a loss like that very hard. There’s gonna be some sleepless nights. But you gotta find a way to use that energy and harness it to fuel your desire to win. I was dedicated to making Katie Swanson a winner.”

 

In fact, Swanson was so devastated about this loss that her partnership with McCarthy, her friend and pie-eating coach, was severed, and a fight began that would not be settled for years, as Swanson was not sure she could endure more training for her hopeless pie-eating crusade.

 

When asked about the break they took in training from 2014-2016, after the All-Catholic loss, McCarthy admitted, “I honestly think she left because we didn’t know how to exist without the pie-eating contest. You can bring a teacher to a pie eating contest, but at the end of the day, you can’t eat the pie for the teacher.”

 

These events kick-started Swanson’s long journey that ended with her stealing the win from Ladowski in 2019.

 

Now, I’d like to bring your attention to 2015. Mr. Ladowski begins working at Nardin and Swanson leaves Niagara Catholic . . . coincidence? I think not.

 

Kaleidoscope readers, I offer you this: upon hearing about his new job, and being, of course, aware of Nardin’s legendary annual pie-eating contest, Swanson decided to reforge her partnership with McCarthy and, once again, train for another pie-eating competition.

 

After all, as Brian McCarthy so eloquently declared, “I look at my life as a series of pie-eating contests.” Pie-eating was their sole purpose.

I look at the world one pie at a time. There’s only two time frames: before the pie-eating contest and after.”

— Brian McCarthy

 

Less than two years later Swanson begins working at Nardin as a physics teacher, and, sure enough, just one year later, McCarthy starts a new job as Nardin’s AP Government and Politics teacher.

 

The evidence is there. The dates are too close for this to be a coincidence. The facts all line up.

 

McCarthy and Swanson both knowingly planned on joining the Nardin staff simply to be entered into Nardin’s exclusive pie-eating contest and strategically placed McCarthy, someone who never even planned on winning, in between Swanson and Ladowski, long time rivals, in order to block the judges view, resulting in an ensured win for Swanson, who wanted it desperately.

 

I will take up no more of your time, as I have presented all the facts of the case.

 

I hope this series serves as a lesson to everyone: question what you see, and NEVER be afraid to stand up for what you think is right.

 

This is Elizabeth Becker, investigative yellow journalist, signing off for the last time.

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A pie to the face: The conclusion to a riveting scandal